Is First-Time Sex Painful?
Q: Does it hurt to have sex for the first time? Is there anything I can do to prepare for it?

— Fatuma, Canada

A: Having first-time sex is not always painful. Some women experience no pain at all, and others experience only a small degree of pain. However, there are women who do find first-time sex to be painful. It is particularly painful if a woman's hymen is still intact. The hymen is the mucous membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening. Traditionally, people believed that intact hymens were a sign of virginity. However, we know now that most women break their hymens before they have sex for the first time — either through sports, horseback riding, or other exercises.
You have probably already broken your hymen, but if you haven't, don't worry. There are ways to decrease the likelihood of pain. First of all, be sure that your partner spends enough time on foreplay. This will make you more lubricated and heighten your sexual response. However, if you are concerned about pain, I also recommend that you use a lubricant (such as K-Y Jelly or Astroglide) to help make first-time sex less painful. Most important, be sure to try to relax! If you become stressed and tighten your muscles, entry will be that much more difficult. Just remember, losing your virginity to the man of your choice is a beautiful and once-in-a-lifetime experience, so relax and enjoy it!

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